the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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