fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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