it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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