That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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