What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
