Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize