it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
