I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
