How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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