We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
