im drinking this country out of the recession.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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