I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
