There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
