I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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