Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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