9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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