Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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