So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
