Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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