She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
