So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize
