In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
