My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize