i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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