I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
