I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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