My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
being pregnant is like rehab
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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