but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
foreskin is a definite game changer
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize