At least make sure they are 18
Why
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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