I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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