I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
