So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
