Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
