wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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