whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize