Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
