he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
