White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
