Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize