consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
