Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
