Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize