Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
