hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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