god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
