Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
