i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
