awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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