Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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