I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
