a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
