if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
