her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize