remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
