Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
