Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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