I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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