I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
