butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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