Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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