I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
