I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If I die, sorry about rent.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
