i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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