That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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