He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
