what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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